Lil Wayne, DRAKE NEED TO FALL BACK!! CAUSE BANGS IS BRINGING THE “REALNESS” BACK INTO THE GAME. DAMN, NOW I WANNA TAKE A GIRL TO THE MOVIES FOR REAL. HEY, MAYBE I CAN BE COOL LIKE BANGS…

Kavah

I was alerted to this foolishness after checking out Cleo Sunshine. I’ve never understood pet people, never understood the need to have pets ( except for pirahana’s, if you’ve ever seen them feed you’d understand. beauty ).  I’ve always thought that pet lovers were nuts, crazy repressed people who can’t connect with others. A business associate of mine, is stiff as a board, unwilling to look at a person in the eye.  Confused laughter, the kind that happens when everyone else is laughing but you’re not quite sure what the joke is. I had the unfortunate opportunity to be in her house, and watched her eyes light up when this mangy mongrel yelps and runs towards her. She scoops the thing up, kisses it, coos at it, and completely forgot that I was there. Weirdo

Have any studies been done on pet lovers? I’m pretty sure there are some sociopathic tendencies. Probably discover the tendency to be delusional. Psychotic etc. I don’t know how people claim pets love them. If you clean up my shit and feed me every day, I’m gonna smile, shuck and jive to make sure that you keep doing it. I digress however …

A cell phone for your dog! Are you f*cking kidding me? I’m not mad at the company for building, I’m pissed cuz people will ACTUALLY buy this shit, bad enough we have to suffer with obnoxious cell phone users. The people who feel the need to scream I’M TALKING ON A CELL PHONE.  Now we’ll have to deal with idiots cooing and kissing up to their pets. I’m convinced that this is a mental defect.

I do have to admit ( grudgingly ), the Pet GPS that Pets Mobility created is a brilliant idea.

It was actually better than I thought it would be, although I think that attacking Jay is pointless. It only screams attention whore.

Ways to donate:
Text HAITI to 90999 – phone company will charge $10 to your phone bill and that will go to the red cross.

www.redcross.com – You can donate directly to the Red Cross if you want to donate more that the $10 mentioned earlier.

http://www.yele.org/ – Wyclef setup a fund to provide assistance. ( there is a “donate now” link at the top right hand side )

If you live in NYC, you can call 311 to donate to Mayor Bloombergs fund.

These are the only legitimate sources that I know of, please becareful of where you donate.  There are people who will try to take advantage at this point.

Help Save Our Haitian Brothers and Sisters
Please remember, the airplane control tower has collapsed, it will be difficult for planes to land.

If you know of any other ways to donate, please share it here.

Liquid Virgin Drops

This product is called a Vaginal Contracting Lubricant.

It is Similar to the age-old China Shrink cream. These drops work to temporarily tighten the walls of the vagina. I have never tried it but our sales representative says they work. I didn’t ask how she knew.

The directions say to apply a few drops to the desired area 15 minutes prior to any activity for desired results and moisturization.

Ingredients: Deonized water, aloe vera extract, glycerin, potassium alum, xanthan gum, hydropoyl methylcellulose, polysorbate 20, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, hydrolyzed collagen, sodium benzoate, DL menthol, calcium chloride, propylparaben, citric acid.

As a note: Potassium Alum is added to foods as a sour flavor. It also appears in cartoons. The character eats some Alum and their mouth is shown to pucker up. Often seen on Tom & Jerry.

Some o ya’ll women need a gallon of this stuff ( no offense), done hooked up with Raheem, John, Jake and Tyrone at the club and stretched yo shit out.  Loose as hell.  And, some of ya’ll had big head babies. That’s not ya fault, but ya still stretched as hell. This product is for you!

Pay attention to the last ingredient tho, I’m gonna teach ya’ll a secret that them old folks know: lemon / limes.  DO NOT DOUCHE WITH PURE LEMON JUICE!!!! Again. DO NO DOUCH WITH PURE LEMON  JUICE!!! No lime juice EITHER, I know some of ya’ll gonna say: “Liv burned me!”. That shit just don’t sound right.

Dilute with water, and voila ( yes, I spelled it right. it’s not “wallah” for you ignorant folk). It works (trust me, I know from experience ) for some women, I can’t claim that it will work for all.  Although fellas, you might want to sneak some onto your fingers before you start playing around down there, could make a world of difference.

Check out the “comments” for the product.

This made me so tight, but dry. Why would this be pleasurable for women? It was as painful as the first time. Don’t buy this.

RN – October 1, 2008

This makes me laugh.

This seemed to erase perhaps 50 of the men I’ve slept with. I think I need something stronger.

SW – October 21, 2008

Sounds like she was hoping that it would erase more men. Slore. ( slore = slut bucket whore )

Omg things were totally dragging in the bed room, but these drops seriously helped my sex life, my boyfriend noticed something was different and he loved it, needless to say he is now my fiance…..!!!! totally recommend!!! He will notice! Don’t apply too much, beware you might be too tight, this just shows you how well the product works!! a million stars!

hj – April 15, 2009

Apparently, this will help you get married.

This stuff is pretty much god!!! its amazing. it makes you so tight. Just like a virgin every time. million stars

KT – May 2, 2009

…. LOL

This products made me bleed for 1 hour and smell of that is terrible, for god sake take it off the shop

Jf – May 7, 2009

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ….This made me laugh, I’m going to hell, I know.

This worked great for me but don`t let him kiss you there. He couldn`t talk right for 2 days

sf – June 15, 2009

Why am I thinking Marlon Wayans in Senseless?

I’ve had a wide set vagina all of my life and it has made me miserable sometimes. I used this and after 5 minutes I could feel the difference and it felt good. Some people complained that it makes them dry, use some astroglide to go with it.

FW – August 24, 2009

Da fuk!??! LOL, how many of ya’ll got a wide set vagina?

i was considering surgery after my husband stopped having relationships with me due to the fact that he said he didnt feel anything after 6 children… i never told him i used this product but it worked….

cp – October 16, 2009

LOL

Kavah

A grad student, who friends call “a Romantic,” caused massive back-ups when he snuck through Newark security on Dec.3 to get one last kiss goodbye from his girlfriend. Now the airport offender—who the Daily News says is responsible for shutting down Terminal C for seven hours, causing 100 or more flight delays and inconveniencing thousands of passengers—is facing charges of defiant trespassing for his crimes of the heart.

Video footage captured mild-mannered Haisong Jiang as he ducked into a secure area to firmly squeeze a woman in a down coat. He was able to get through because an airport guard temporarily left his post. Detectives went looking for him, and finally found him at the gym near his home in New Jersey. Now, he may serve up to 30 days in prison.

Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg, of New Jersey, told the New York Times it’s not enough. He said the punishment “is hardly noteworthy and would not discourage people who want to break through the perimeter.” He was hoping for federal charges. Still, a friend told CBS that Jiang is just ignorant and silly in love: “He loves his girlfriend. He just went to say goodbye to her.”

Now before you “romantics” run ( sauter ) up in here and defend him, typing that he’s in love and more people should be like this. Just imagine that YOU were the one stuck in the airport for seven hours, without an explanation. What if this guy had a bomb? Chemical weapon? He’s a damn fool, with the TSA being jumpy because of the Nigerian Pyromaniac incident, why would you play around at the airport? I don’t think he needs 30 days in jail tho, I just think he needs his Ass Whupped.

Even better if he gets locked up in a room with the people who had to wait 7 hours.

( Notice the capital “Ass Whuppin”, for the record that’s the kind that little kids get, you know the one that stops them from breathing? )

I wouldn’t even get mad at her.  IF, I was able to control myself enough to NOT pick her up and throw ( literally, hulk hogan, undertaker style), if was able to control myself enough to NOT pick her up and throw her out on her ass.   I’d let her smash it,  to bits, let her scream, yell and bitch. I wouldn’t lay a hand on her at all, I’d actually apologize. ( Make no mistake, this is worthy of an ass whuppin ). And, tell her how I’m so sorry that I wasn’t paying attention to her. I’d even BEG for forgiveness.

When she leaves the apartment ….

I’d call the locksmith. And have them change the locks. Then, I’d spend the rest of the day packing up all of her sentimental items. And, cutting all of her clothing into strips of confetti. Underwear and lingerie included. And, when she’s yelling up at me, screaming for me to let her in; I’ll be throwing her a ticker tape parade with her own clothes. And, any electronics ( laptop, ipod, cell phone ) would be kept until she returned the money for my PlayStation

Too crazy?

Stumbled across this story in the Daily News, nothing worse than not having heat or hot water in the winter. It’s a miserable feeling, having to boil water to take a bath ( or a hooker bath ). Fortunately, this was a rare occurrence for me. Twice while living in apt buiding way back when, and once when the water heater broke. ( It’s different, when the heat WORKS and the people who pay the bill don’t want to turn it on *coughmyparentscough*. Always talking bout: “put something on, so you won’t be cold”. ) Now, it so hot in my room that I wake up choking and dehydrated. It’s great. Really wonderful. No sarcasm.

If you’re stuck without heat or hot water, know your rights. If you know someone who’s dealing with this situation, let them know about their rights. Check on any elderly relatives and make sure that they’re keeping warm, the cold affects them a whole lot worse that the young’uns.

Tenant Heat & Hot Water Rights for NYC:

Please post, if you or someone you know does not have heat or hot water:

P.S. If you have any links to tenant rights for other cities / states please post them here.